You can be my study buddy.

I have given you silly people several reasons to not follow me.  My lack of attention as of late should be reason enough but if you're still around, amigos, please forgive me for what I'm about to tell you.  You know I'm a douche.  {On the off chance you need a reminder, see here.}  You know I listen to awesomely bad music.  But today?  Today I listened to O-Town.  Do you know who they are?  Probably not. You're probably way cooler than me.  This stupid band was formed by the big ol' perv Lou Pearlman on MTV's Making the Band.  I loved this show.  It was my first taste of reality tv.  I became obsessed.  I bought their cd and had it well into high school.  Maybe even college.  I remember the day it broke.  Annafer and I were riding around in her impala and some how it got shattered in her middle console.  We looked at each other and didn't speak for a solid five minutes.  Tragic day.  Anyway, I listened to their jam "All Or Nothing."  Not once, not twice but three times.  IN A ROW.  Had I been by myself I would have sang it at the top of my lungs.  Instead I sang it at a normal octave and I used my pen as a microphone.  My co-workers are some lucky mother fuckers.

Speaking of lucky assholes, I am one.  Want to know why?  In addition to seeing the Griz play {aside from the fact it was a horribly coached game} I got to see some of my favorite things.  The Grannies and the Grandpas.  If you haven't seen these little bundles of joy you are missing out.  They are all old.  And they ALL came to get down.  They have choreographed dances and - let me tell you, they shakes their old bodies like it's nobody's business.  Each and every granny and grandpa is better than the actual griz girls.  I want to put on old face and try out for the team.  {Tonight they danced to Pretty Boy Swag - loooooooove.}  THEN there was Lil P-Nut.  I will show you him because I can't describe him without doing him injustice.

His jerry curl makes my heart skip a beat.


Top to it off I got to see two of my lovers. The first one is just adorable. I want to love him and hug him and let him tell me all of his problems. Then I'll buy him a milkshake and comb his hair while he drinks it.

Sigh. This is Rudy Gay, fyi. I love him. I love him so much. Now for the one that really, really makes me happy:

Now this Iranian love bucket, Hamed Haddadi stands at a whopping 7'2".  Shut the fuck up.  I need to know how big he was at birth.  In my head, he was about 4 feet long.  I'm 5'5" - 5'10" on a good day {I wear very sensible shoes, clearly}.  I want to stand next to him all the time.  I want him to be my hairy lover because 1. He probably doesn't speak much English {again, this could be totally wrong but this is what's happening in my head.} 2. He drives a smart car.  This one I'm not 100% sure I'm making up.  Either it was a joke skit the Griz put on last year, I dreamed it or it is actually true... I'm talking one of those european smart cars that I'm too tall for.  HIS BODY IS LONGER THAN IT.  Bahahaha.  I love him.

My Octoberfest is telling me to go to bed.  Tomorrow's Thursday?  It's only THURSDAY?!  Goodnight.  Sweet dreams of me marrying Haddadi.  {We would have our first dance to Lil-P-Nut's song.}