I like myself. I like myself a lot. I think that I'm pretty awesome. But I am not delusional. I know that I'm pretty much the antithesis of cool. I like lots of things that are fit for, say, teenagers? Maybe even younger? Since today has been particularly uneventful, I'm going to enlighten you as to why I'm a douche. I call this list (feel free to judge the shiz out of me):
Why Shannon's a Douche
- I read and quickly became obsessed with the Twilight series. True story. I'm totally Team Edward. Jacob is a joke. Werewolves aren't REAL and everyone knows it.
- The CW. Yes, this one is particularly hard to admit. I haven't missed a day of Gossip Girl since it's inception. And I have no plans of ever falling out of the loop. Chuck Bass is the man of my dreams. I think he's legal in real life so this is ok. Right? Don't worry... I'm not too proud to admit that I willingly watch both 90210 and One Tree Hill.
- I'm fully aware that my obsession with this little love bucket may land me in the county jail. But I'm not really sure that I care. I love him. I love his stupid hair and his sick dance moves. I love that he's going through puberty. Yeah... it may be weird that I know that but let's ignore it. He's the modern day Hanson. Do you think it's bizarre that all four of those fellas look strikingly like pre-pubescent little girls and/or underdeveloped lesbians? Definitely not a coincidence.
- Hello Kitty band aids. First of all, Gracie tells me that band aids are for little kids. Second of all, they are Hello Kitty. Maybe I'm just mad that when I was younger we always had to have gross boy band-aids since my brother was a boy and my sister thought she was. They really do make me feel better. And by that I mean they make me smile... and make me question my maturity level.
That's all that I can think of for now. You may have noticed this was only Edition one. Don't you worry your pretty little faces... I will make it my duty to prove to you exactly why I am a douche.
I'm ready for bed. It's 8:30. Maybe I really am a little kid?