I put on for my city

In honor of 9-01 (yesterday in case you didn't know), I wanted to let everyone know what I love about this beautiful city.  Here we go....

• Midtown!  Everything you could possibly want can be found here... fun bars, great restaurants and lots - I mean LOTS - of l-o-v-e.  There's also a farmer's market every Saturday morning (I'm not sure when that's going end, soon I'm sure).  I love going to get fresh flowers from this one precious little love bucket.  We talk about super serious things like Lady Gaga and Madonna.

• Le zoo.  You can get in free on Tuesdays after 2.  I suggest going when school is in session.  THe chillrens get a little rowdy.  They also have Zoo Brew and Zoo Rendezvous... live music sometimes and, starting this winter, {drum roll, please} an OUTDOOR ICE SKATING RINK!  How exciting is that?!  If you don't go to any of these events at least go to see these sweet little nuggets... god I fucking love gorillas.

• Overton Park and Levitt Shell:  On a beautiful day there is not, I repeat NOTHING, better than taking a cooler, some music and friends over to the park and relaxing.  Add in Levitt Shell's free concert series (both in the summer and fall) and it's a magical thing.  In case you needed more reasons to love the Shell, Elvis played there.  That's right.  The King.

• The Griz...  I love watching basketball.  I love going to the games.  And I love Rudy Gay.

• Lest we not forget the music.  The local music scene is major.  I may be partial because I know (and love these fellas), but Rainy Day Manual (RDM) is totally legit.

Come see them Sept. 19 at Neil's with Mobley.. another incredible band

• I also really dig Star and Micey, Jeremy Stanfill and Grace Askew.  Check them out, while your at it.
• Last but certainly NOT least:  COOPER YOUNG FESTIVAL!  Listen to live music.  Buy pretty things.  Hang out with wonderful people.  It's a win/win/win.  

• Oh, and Three 6 Mafia.  They are pretty major.  Plus DJ Paul and I are tight.

Hope everyone had a great 9-01... and an even better 90210.  Who knew September's dates could give me such great joy?

here's one of my favorite Star and Micey songs.  Love you.

THIS JUST IN!

72 days to raise $3500.


These guys are legit, friends.

Lame blog #2 of the week.

I must apologize for my pathetic post yesterday.  I was at home in bed by 9:30.  Cute AND age appropriate, I know.  Brief weekend update: Soulfish with Gracie, slow jams at the Bayou, downtown, Club 152, ELVIS week, bottle service... the rest is on a need to know basis and I have taken my name off of that list.  All that really matters is I didn't lose my shoes... not that I didn't try to.


I'm about to tell you something very, very important.  I'm talking life or death.  Never, ever, ever, ever, ever give me bottle service.  Ever.  Don't ever do it.  While my shame is stilling palpable, I should also mention that I've placed a moratorium on me being in public.  For now it's indefinite.  I'm taking it upon myself to ban me from Beale Street.  FOR. EV. ER.  (Imagine The Sandlot).


Since I was still suffering from a hideous moral hangover yesterday, my Tuesday was for once waaaaay better than my Monday!  (It also had to do with the fact that Meredith V and Matty were working today... and I woke up with Justin Biebs in my head.  Yes, I'm aware I'm a loser.)  The only thing that wasn't completely awesome about today was that I had to do laundry.  And dishes.  I mean I HAD to.  These are probably the worst chores known to man.  My momma always used to get on to me and my siblings because we would bitch and complain about doing these wretched chores.  She always said, "You've spent more time complaining than it will take you to do the dishes."  As per usual, Leslie was right.  But if you tell her, I'll deny, deny, deny and probably kick you in the ankle.  These days, instead of complaining about it I look up new dishes and new clothes to buy so I can throw the old ones out.  Yup.  I hate it THAT much.


Moving on... I don't know if any of you go to the free concert series in the summer/fall at Levitt Shell but they just put out their fall line up and it looks totally sick.  I'm super excited about Dirty Dozen Brass Band.  I went to see them at the hi-tone with my homie, Rhi, one night.  Cow bell was involved.  And it was good.  Check it out. You know you want to.


Time to go read.  I promise I will have a good blog one day.  I'm wearing my new black pumps tomorrow in celebration of the fact that they survived downtown.  Paolo and I will be doing a dance in the morning.

Did you get the picture yet? I'm paintin' you the portrait...

Ladies and gents, Elvis week is upon us.  Thank God is all I can say.  Do you know who loves Elvis?  Asians.  Do you know who loves Asians?  This girl.  To say I love them a lot would be putting it mildly.  I dream of having little Asian babies rolling around my living room.  Yes, that was plural and yes, I said rolling.  I would love nothing more than to roll a rotund Asian baby down a hill of Cottonelle toilet paper.  I hope no one gets offended.  I mean all of this in the nicest way possible.  I really think they are adorable.


Know what else I love?  Mondays.  Okay... so I don't really love them but they definitely are not the worst day of the week.  Mondays at work are generally super slow so I get to spend a lot of time in my head which is always a fun place to be.  I think I freak people out A LOT on days like today because I will just sit and giggle at my desk.  At what?  I couldn't tell you.  Someone at work today told me I looked like I was "LOL-ing" at my desk today.


Two things that made my life a little better today:  
1.  Jay-Z is writing a memoir.  I don't know when my obsession with Hov got so intense but whatevs.  My alter ego is slowing morphing into a fantastic mix between Jay-Z and Gaga.  
2.  I got to see Gracie tonight.  Sometimes all I need to make me happy is for my best friend to come over and reassure me that I'm better looking than some people.


Happy Monday... I'm gonna let Hova take it home.


smooches.

I want some pips.

I decided to take a short day today... I thought it would be best not only for myself but also for everyone else since I've been a raging bitch little difficult this week (see how considerate I am?).  I also did it in hopes that I could get some things down around my house.  What have I done in the three whole hours I've been home?  Played wordfeud.  (For all you iphone users, think "words with friends" but better because it's not with AT&T.)  Despite the fact that I've been completely useless, I feel I made a pretty solid decision because: A.  I'm kicking ass at this game and B. It is hot a fuck outside.  Here is a funny picture for you:

Ha. Ha. Ha.  Talking corn.

Doesn't that make you feel better about being so hot that you want to barf, cry and sit in a tub of ice all at the same time?  Yeah... me too.


In other news, I'm officially obsessed with "Police Women of Memphis."  It's absolutely ridiculous.  I mean it doesn't show Memphis in the best light but, whatever.  It's brilliant.  Especially Joy.  I want to find her and some how be her friend.  If you haven't watched the show, I highly suggest checking it out. I'm going to go watch some more of Joy and the gang... I'll be posting again later.


In the mean time, feel free to sing along at the top of your lungs to this gem.


smooches.

Lafonda + Shannon = BFF

MLGW has really interesting ways of billing.  I currently have a zero balance.  I don't know if they do math a different way... maybe they use phonics and reading or something because today I received a cut off notice because of my balance.  This really confused me so I called my favorite people in the entire world and made a new friend.  Although I'm fairly certain I can do a spot on imitation of her voice, I can't recall her name.. so from this point on I will call her "LaFonda."  Well... Lafonda gave me a nickname (because that's what friends do - right?).  Lafonda dubbed me "Ms. James..erra... Ollleara."  I know... I love it, too.  We chit-chatted on the phone for about 45 minutes and I learned just how special my new friend is.  Let me set the scene for you:  Lafonda and I just finished going over each and every payment I've made in the past year in painstaking detail.  She's confused about why I'm asking her about my cut off notice.

Ms. James..erra... Ollleara, aka, Me:  Lafonda, we just went over all of the payments and it still comes up to a zero balance.  I don't know why you are trying to turn it off when I don't owe anything?

Lafonda:  Ms. James..erra... Ollleara, every one has to pay their bill.
Me:  Right, I am well aware of that.  But I have a ZERO balance.  I'm not going to pay money that I don't owe.
Lafonda:  Ms. James..erra... Ollleara, your account says that you must pay by August 10th or else we will be forced to turn off your electricity.
Me:  Right... what if I pay nothing and we just call it even?
Lafonda:  Ma'am, if you are unable to pay your bill at this time we are willing to set up a payment plan.
Me: **stunned at how thoughtful Lafonda is being for her new friend**
Lafonda:  Ma'am, are you still there?  Are you willing to set up a payment plan?
Me:  No.  I can't afford it.  Can we just push it back until my next bill comes out?


Thankfully my new bestie agreed to that plan (which is quite generous since my bill  should be out August 16) and I'm free and clear for the next 12 days.  Good thing she's letting me wait to pay... now we can hit the cluuuuuubs.  This is what I imagine it will look like:

In case you were wondering, I will not be attending the Hanson concert tonight at Minglewood.  The teeny bopper that is still deep within my soul is very disappointed in me.  At least it's Wednesday and tomorrow is Thursday and then it's Friday and I will hopefully at the lake.  I have a very special treat for myself everyone, especially everyone else who is missing the epic concert tonight.


smooches.

Oh, Basil

As I'm sure you all are painfully aware, election time brings out a plethora of no talent ass clowns candidates vying for your vote.  There is one in particular who now has nationwide notariaty for his... um... way with words?  His presence?  All of the above? Whatever it is, he's got a certain jena se qua that has won my heart on many, many different levels.

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm talking about my new little love bucket, none other than Mr. Basil Marceaux Dot Com.

Ok so his last name isn't REALLY Dot Com contrary to what he would lead you to believe... he is a Republican (thank god) Gubernatorial candidate.  (SIDE BAR: I love the word "gubernatorial" so much I am seriously entertaining the thought of bestowing this name upon my first born.)  Basil has a lot to say and, unless you have a plethora of time on your hands, you won't be able to translate the majority of it... I could literally go one for days about what this gentleman has to say but I'll keep it short.


Here are two of my favorite "things of import" as written by Basil:


"My friends a beer stores say they must check 200 D/L a day that 400 minutes a day per clerk which is over 6 hours at $ 7.00 a hour that $ 42.00, with it mandatory then we must pay them."
-- Valid point, Mr. Marceaux, you must pay people to do their jobs.  I'm glad you noticed.


"Education ,let us put phonics back in school if you can not read you can not do History, Math, English. And that where we are now. Let make it mandatory in high school to read the minutes to the U.S. Congress , the Congressional Globe the real history of the U.S"
-- I was personally unaware that phonics was necessary for math, then again numbers were never my strong point...


In all honesty, I feel bad for this little fella.  I have a sneaking suspicion somebody -- HINT:  it rhymes with Smasil -- did/does a lot of drugs and hits the bottle a smidge too much.  Not to mention the fact that someone asshole(actually, at least 1000 of them)listened to what he had to say and how he said it and encouraged him to take this route.  I'm begging you to go to his website (it's linked up above).  Best of luck, Basil, may all your dreams of three striped flags come true.


  

Friends don't let friends drink and blog

Today is the hottest day of all time.  I don't think that the Guinness book of world records would back me up on this and it's probably not entirely true but let's look past that... Semantics, people, it's all about semantics.  And, as luck would have it, my power went out. Granted the sun was down and it could have been way worse, it still was not a pleasant time.


I had a quite lengthy Tuesday blog written for this Tuesday... the most wretched of days.  Alas, MLGW sucks.  Balls.  Of a goat.  And for some reason this website didn't save it.  I'm still getting the hang of this shiz.. so bear with me.  I suppose I will do a brief synopsis of what I had written.  Thanks to Do for not only being within walking distance but also for being open and serving me a few glasses of wine.  Please excuse any grammatical errors and/or spelling errors.


Let's see:  I hate Tuesdays.  To me, a Tuesday is much like turning 23, or 24... I imagine that it will be the same as turning any age ending in anything other than a 0 or a 5.  It's insignificant.  It's boring.  Nothing about Tuesdays are exciting or lively.  Know what else annoys me about this stupid day?  Some people pronounce it "Cheeeeeeewsday" and that makes me nauseous.  Same with when people pronounce both the "w" AND the "h" in words... like cool hawwwhhhip.  I don't know nor do I care if that's how it is supposed to be said, I'm not a fan.


In addition to today being the hottest day ever and my power going out, the latest in the trifecta of abandonment happened this morning.  Ok.  I'm being melodramatic.  I don't have abandonment issues.  I just like it when the people I want around are actually around.  Two out of the four co-workers I talk to with any sort of regularity are out this WHOLE week and Gracie left this morning until Sunday.  These are three of the people I count on getting me through every day.  At least every work day.  Two thumbs down, ladies and gent, two thumbs waaaaaay down.


There are lots of things I like about today... I don't want you to think I'm completely a Negative Nancy.  Would you like a list of things I'm currently diggin'?  Oh, you would? Perrrrrrrfect:

1. Tomorrow is Wednesday.  Wednesday is the middle of the week.  The middle of the week is close to the end of the week.
2. Haiku Bridge wine.  And in honor or this wine, a haiku just for you:

Tuesdays suck, I think

Speidi is getting divorced

Happy Wednesday.

-- I know, I've truly missed my calling in life as a professional haiku-ist.

      3.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  if Willis Carrier, i.e. the inventor of the modern day air conditioner were alive, I would totally - I'm talking no doubt in my mind - have his baby.  

      4.  The promise of presents from my mother tomorrow.  What can I say?  When you are the favorite child, you get lots of gifts.  It's something I've come to terms with...

      5.  Can't forget about this little gem:  

Covergirl Lip Stain in "Blushing"

    6.  Old Crow Medicine Show.  I wish the guys would come back to Memphis again.

Time for bed.  I love you.  I love you all.

smooches.