Take it easy, baby.

Happy Monday, boys and girls.  Was your day fantastic?  Mine was.  Although I still feel like I got hit by a truck, had all of my limbs removed and then sewn back on Macgyver style.  What is Macgyver style, you ask?  Well, I am not entirely sure.  I imagine that it involves the bones of a crow, three pieces of grape Bubbleyum and pinto beans.  Maybe some invisible ink, too.  Invisible ink is crucial to most situations.


Weekend recap:  I finished my first 5k.  I don't think I really cared about my time for the race's sake.  I really was super anxious to get home and put the finishing touches on my house for the party.  I'm glad I did it and I fully intend on doing it again but I will not, I repeat - WILL NOT - be planning a party for the same day as said race.  That's just silly.  Moving on:  My house warming party was better than I could have ever imagined.  It was a bright and sunny day filled with friends and family and all the jello shots a girl could want.  Seriously.  The jello shots were the best/worst idea I've ever had.  Word on the street is they lasted well into the evening which is impressive given that I was practically shoving them down people's throats.  Including the mailman.  Unfortunately, I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked... I was too busy handing out / taking jello shots?  Yup, the confirmation can be found in my liver.  Or what's left of it.  In other news, I think my taste in men is expanding.  I used to stick to Americana.  Farm raised, corn bred - possibly inbred? - American as Bud light {BEFORE the sell out, naturally}.  I'm going to blame this broadening of my horizons on Bruno Mars and strikingly beautiful men of the same caliber.  And the hot little nugget I met this weekend.


Dream update:  I've stopped dreaming about one of my co-workers.  That's a plus.  Now I can look at him without blushing and imagining him naked.  I'm sure he'll be replaced.  Hopefully with something less embarrassing... I'd settle for someone who isn't married.  The grasshoppers are gone too.  Kat Von D made a cameo last night.  This would be awesome if she didn't scare me.


I have a little venting to do.  Rest assured it's only about silly, trivial things.  If you'd like to skip to the next section of things that I love, love, love... you have my permission.  Here is a list of 5 things that make me want to barf:

1. When people drag their feet, I imagine myself throwing rocks at them.  Or arrows.  Or maybe just tripping them with a big ol' stick.  It's ridiculous and unless you have some physical ailment that prevents you from picking your feet up OFF of the ground (and I'll need to see a doctor's note) then you had better lift those doggies up with each and every step.  Ew.
2. When people are trying to let you know that they've completely changed or something along those lines and they say they have done a "360."  Really?  You changed and then turned back into whatever it is you changed from?  Double ew.
3. Ann Curry.  UGH.  I wish I could pin point the exact time for you when she crawled under my skin and laid her seeds of hate but I can't.  I'm fairly certain she tortures small woodland creatures.  Like baby deer.  Or baby rabbits.  And eats babies for breakfast.  Human babies.  Every time either Meredith or Matt is on vacation I die - especially when they give her some stupid story to talk about and it requires any sort of emotion.  Because she whispers.  About everything.  Triple ew.
4. When you get a shot and it feels like someone knuckle-punched you right in the arm every hour, on the hour, for two whole days.  I got a B12 shot today and it does not feel very pleasant.  AT all.  Quadruple ew.
5. When people don't respond to emails.  My mother is very guilty of this - the most egregious faux pas of. All. Time.  Just answer my email.  Even if it's with a recording of Ann Curry's stupid whisper voice talking about how she's done a 360 on something while she's walking around 30 Rock dragging her feet.  Triple ew plus double ew.

Now on to the things I l-o-v-e today:

1. My friends and family.  After the best house warming party in the history of house warming parties, I have a renewed obsession with each and everyone of you.  I would NOT let Ann Curry eat you or your babies.
2. Reading other people's blogs.  Look at the side of this page... right above my followers and you'll see just a few of the ones I love.  Getting into people's minds and finding out more about them is my idea of a good time.
3. Modern Family.  The season premiere is FINALLY on this week.  When I watch this show I like to imagine that {insert your personal higher power here} was thinking of me in particular when they created this show.
4. Stalking people's status updates.  Yup.  Pretty much every post or link or picture posted brings a little joy to my heart.  Unless, of course, it's sad or depressing or Republican in nature.  That should go without saying.
5. pièce de résistance.... Lady Gaga.  Lady Gaga.  LADY GAGA.  I totally have a big, fat girl crush on her.  I love her.  AND she's going to NASHVILLE.  Baaaaah.  All of my dreams are coming true.

The list of things I love could go on for hours but I must go deep clean my house.  I hope that this week is the best week of your life.  Love you and you and you and yooooou